Time for some Friday funnies ahead of Sunday’s big match! These are from the Joys And Sorrows Website – check it out – it’s a great site!

Q: What do you say to a Villa fan with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo.

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Villa players on them – folk couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

A man desperate at the Villa’s current situation decides to top himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very lastmoment, he decides upon wearing his full Villa kit as his last statement. A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Villa kit and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why.
The policeman simply replies, ‘It’s to avoid embarrassing the family, sir.’

Q: What do you call a Villa fan with lots of girlfriends?
A: A shepherd.

Read on for more……………Q: What’s the difference between a Villa fan and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

Q: How do you kill a Villa fan when he’s drinking?
A: Slam the toilet seat on his head.

Q: What do Villa fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: Whats black and brown and looks good on a Villa fan?
A: A Rottweiler.

Q: What do you call a Villa fan with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Villa fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. Why do Villa fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe.

Q: What do you call a Villa fan in a 2 bedroomed Semi?
A: A burglar

Q: What do you get when you offer a Villa fan a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change!

There’s a rumour that Villa have lined up a new sponsor – Tampax.
The board thought it was an appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period.

An new Oxo Cube will be introduced early next year in tribute to Villa.
It will be called ‘Laughing Stock’.

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.
Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out ‘Villa are good enough to win the European Cup.’
Snow White says ‘Well at least Dopey’s alive.’

Q. What’s the difference between the Villa ‘keeper and a taxi driver?
A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.

Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and Villa ?
A: OJ Simpson had some sort of a defence.

Q: What’s the difference between Villa and a teabag?
A: A tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Q: What is the difference between Foot & Mouth and Villa?
A: Foot & Mouth got into Europe.