A man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says, “I’ll give you some cream to put on it”.

A man walked into the doctors. The doctor said “I haven’t seen you in a long time”. The man replied “I know, I’ve been ill”.

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said “Who’s speaking please?”. And a voice said “You are”.

I had a ploughman’s lunch the other day. He wasn’t very happy.