Category Archives: Stuff

Wacko Jacko Joke

Time for a Tuesday funny!!

Michael Jackson is in his hotel room, discussing his case with his lawyer.
After a few hours, his lawyer says to him:
“We need to relax and take our minds off things, how about I go rent a DVD?”
“That’s a good idea,” says Michael in his squeaky voice.
“Shall I get Aladdin?”
“No, just the DVD, I’m already in enough trouble.”

HP New Year!

Wowsers! It’s been over 2 months since my last posting! HP New Year everyone!

First off, if anyone had a fantastic Valentine’s Day this year, then I want to hook you up for next year. Simply book a flight on American Airlines, and I’m sure you’ll have a fun time like I did. This year, I chose La Guardia airport for my stay and I spent 5 fantastic hours there on Monday. Superb stuff. And as a special bonus I got to check in TWICE and get screened TWICE by security (mmmm – those friskin’s!). Ummmm – they love to scribble on my ticket and give me special attention. Maybe they just want to check out those special Xmas socks I was wearing. What’s also great is that they give you chance to take part in a sport – it’s sort of a running/boxing type of event. 10 mins before take off they declare my flight is cancelled. Then there’s a mad stampede to the counter. Even the old lady sitting next to me was out of her chair faster than a Lotus Elise! I was really slow off the mark. You can’t really blame me though, as it was the first time I’d been involved in such an event and they don’t really teach you this at school. Basically, there’s a huge fight as people push to the front and come up with imaginitve excuses as to why they need to get on the very next flight. By the time I got my chance to argue, all that was left was a plane leaving in 3 hours.

But don’t get disheartened. American Airlines are great because they have this great section where you can sit down and watch planes come in and take off and you can ask yourself why all these other airlines are flying, but AA are not. You’ll have bags of time to ask this question. And then the icing on the cake is when the plane you are waiting for comes in an extra hour late! Mmmm – is that a treat or what! Don’t forget to check out Stacey the kind newsagent lady too – she has a store full of magazines and chewy treats to keep you busy. But no hot food though. I had such an awesome time, I know who I’ll be flying with next time!

P.S. If you’re extra lucky – they’ll throw in a 2 hour wait on the tarmac on the return portion of the journey! WOOT WOOT!!

(More chewy tales here).

New Pioneer PDP-505XDE Out Now!

Ummmmm – Pioneer have updated their European Plasma range! The PDP-504HDE has now been replaced the most awesome PDP-505XDE! Heaven! 7 Billion Colours! Now that’s what I call fresh! Watch the advert. Be sure to check out the technology basics movie too – it’s fascinating! (Ok, it is a bit geeky – but so what, it’s Christmas!)

But why, oh why, is this model not coming to the US market? No sign of an updated model on the Pioneer Pure Vision US Website 🙁 I want my additional 6 billion colours! They are important to me!

Friday Funny

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.
“Hey, nice tie!” a voice says out of nowhere.
The many looks up to thank the bartender, but he’s down at the other end of the bar.
“Hey, nice shirt!” the voice continues.
The man looks up again, but the barkeeper is still at the far end of the bar.
“Hey, that’s a really nice suit!” the man hears. This time he calls the bartender over and asks if he’s been talking to him.

“It’s not me”, says the barman. “It’s the complementary peanuts”.

Silly goings on

You see a lot of strange stuff in NYC. From my neighbour who asks me whether I can hear the electricity running through the walls, to the dude in my grocery store telling me about how he’s got his lawyers watching lawyers. Crazy. But now I’m thinking maybe they are all part of an organised scam.

Check out the Megastore Conquest which took place last year at the Virgin Megastore in Union Square. They’re more clever than flash mobs and actually kind of funny. Here’s what happened when Virgin called the cops after they took over all the listening posts:

Megastore guy: They were all just standing there.
Cop: What were they doing?
Megastore guy: Just standing, and then they all danced.
Cop: Did they say anything?
Megastore guy: No.

Pause

Cop: Why are we here?

Check out the video here or their main site Improv Everywhere. Check out “Ted’s Birthday” and “Will You Marry Me” too! Chewy stuff!

Virtual Babe Bartender

Is there really another 9 hours to go before you can get out work and hit the bar? Then fear not, the Virtual Babe Bartender is what you need! Better than some of those rude real-life ones, this one will do all sorts of tricks! Ask her to SING, DANCE, JUMP, DRINK BEER, or SHAKE (oh-er missus!). Heck, even ask her “What do you think of Richii?”. Better still ask her “What do you think of Richii’s jokes?”. Class.

Play nice with the Virtual Babe Bartender here. Don’t keep her waiting, and tip generously!!

(P.S. If you there’s any other cool tricks you find she can do, let me know!)